Philosophers are often perceived as wise men in white togas, standing on pedestals and exercising rhetorics. Nothing is further form truth, but the idealized depiction of these “human-all-too-human” creatures.

Diogenes used to urinate and defecate in public theatres and masturbate inside barrel where he lived.

Socrates: accused to be “an evil-doer, and a curious person, who searches into things under the earth and in heaven, and he makes the worse appear the better cause; and he teaches the aforesaid doctrines to others.” Received death penalty, because he exposed the ignorance of those who claim to be wise.

Plato: as a young man he was a wrestler and a playwright.

Kant: suffered form hypochondria and practiced strict daily routine, repeating his habits every day in exact hours.
Spent his silent decade in isolation away from people.

Hegel: was a sickly child and almost died of smallpox before he was six. Used to wear nightgown over his clothes and a black beret while working. Died of cholera at age of 61.

Descartes’s: had tendency to work in a large bread oven where he spent much time meditating.
Also, had passion for cross-eyed women.

Voltaire: drank 40 cups of coffee each day.

Nietzsche provides great example of overqualified thinker, who laughed at God (and ended dearly punished for mockery). His sarcasm covered in paradoxes might produce a roller coaster ride for a naive reader. Nietzsche cannot be quoted, as he would never say anything without adding a twist. In order to alleviate his suffering from chronic headaches, persistent vomiting, and a painful digestive disorder, Nietzsche tried a long list of medications as well as a variety of diets.He ended living out his remaining years under serious mental illness in the care of his mother and sister until his death.

Kierkegaard: his last name is Danish for graveyard; Soren’s father and his father’s father were both grave diggers. Died at the age of 42.

Russell: aristocrat interested in sex, religion and mathematics (suicidal).

Hume: self guided thought experiments in Jesuit seminary in France.

Leibniz: on several occasions, he backdated and altered personal manuscripts.

Schopenhauer: this non-curable pessimist used to fill his human need for companionship with flocks of pet poodles, with a same name Atma.

Marx: his life was filled with chaos and disorder. He walked entire days around his working table and would sit down only when he had an idea. There is a disputed rumour that Marx was the father of Frederick Demuth, the son of Marx’s housekeeper.

Wittgenstein: born as jew, turn into protestant died as catholic.

Freud: had numerous psychosomatic disorders as well as exaggerated fears of dying and other phobias.

Jung: had extramarital sexual affairs with patients and friends.

Derrida: defended his opinions by building up shields of denial, which prevented critics from openly attacking his viewpoints.

Sartre: a lifelong companion of Simone de Beauvoir , though they were both polygamists. Had a fear of sea creatures. After consuming a ton’s of mescaline, Sartre had visions of lobsters following him everywhere he went. His daily drug consumption was thus: two packs of cigarettes, several tobacco pipes, over a quart of alcohol (wine, beer, vodka, whisky etc.), two hundred milligrams of amphetamines, fifteen grams of aspirin, a boat load of barbiturates, some coffee, tea, and a few “heavy” meals (whatever those might have been). He would become terribly ill and would cut back on the tobacco and drugs once in a while.

Deleuze: had a lung cancer and committed suicide, throwing himself from the window of his apartment. Never stopped smoking.

Camus: was a womanizer and a soccer player, afraid of early death and he used to carry a suicide note written by a friend of Leon Trotsky’s in his pocket. Died at the age of 46.

Chomsky: proclaimed himself as a “leftist”, had all of his mail checked for explosives. He states that he frequently receives undercover police protection. Claiming to be a “dissident”, this MIT professor got millions of dollars form working with military institutions. He is among top 2% of wealthiest Americans, yet declaring the “socialist” philosophical standpoint.

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